Brain science

Me: I need to nip across the road and buy some cheese.

My brain: It’s very far. You’ll have to change your shoes. The dogs will bark when you leave. It’s a waste of money as the cheese there is expensive.

Me: My dinner is literally going to be cheese on toast. I just need more cheese.

Brain: No no, just have toast. That’ll be fine. Or go to bed hungry. We’ll lose weight. That’s fine too. Look, you’re tired: don’t go out.

Me: Look, brain, you do realise that you have been in remission from all the depression and anxiety since December of last year? That means we can go out and buy things without panicking about the process.

Brain: Fucking hell. I’d forgotten. Quick: buy ALL THE CHEESE.